To Date Sheldon Cooper
by DemonicXaliv
Summary: Before even attempting I suggest you read my advice. I may not be a physicist, but I know more than enough about one Dr. Wackadoodle. [Penny's POV]


**A/N: This will probably be my only Big Bang Theory fic. I hopeless fell in love with the Shenny pairing after only a few episodes of watching. I haven't seen all of the episodes of the series. But I thought I had enough grasp of some of Sheldon's mannerism and Penny's personality to write this.**

**This is all Penny's POV or rather her words...[Hopefully not too OOC]**

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_**First**_-Be expected to drive him everywhere. The man is hopeless when it comes to driving, so it is really the only option. Work, comic store, pick up take out, video game store, and any other location.

_**Second**_-You're going to have to be interested or at least pretend you are about whatever thing he decides is an important topic. His main topics of choice video games, comics, and physics. And trust me just because you don't understand it doesn't mean you don't have to listen. In fact it means that you need to listen more so you can learn it.

_**Third**_-He has a schedule. I won't go into all the details of it cause if you ever even talk to Sheldon he'll probably tell you all his activities for the day. This means any idea of going on a date will be planned far in advance. And don't expect to change any of his schedule last minute either. There are few exceptions to this. And if the matter is not life or death then it probably isn't an exception.

**_Fourth_**-He doesn't like physical contact. Hugging, kissing, and holding hands are lost on him. He doesn't see a need for them. And the same can be said for sex, or in his words coitus. If he is physically attracted to you then there is the lucky possibility that you can find a way to get him to preform all of them. Though this must be a gradual process unless you want a strike or to be scolded for 3 hours.  
On rare special occasions when he is feeling generous and affectionate he will instigate some of these actions. These moments are few and far apart, so don't hold your breath.

**_Fifth_**-Don't take food off his plate. He hates germs. No matter how many germs you will pass in one kiss, you are never allowed to touch his food with your fork, fingers, or any other utensil. Only time you may is when he offers the food to you and he will feed you.

_**Sixth**_-He doesn't admit to it often, but he does want children. He wants to hopefully pass his wealth of genetic material to another generation so his genius will live on. If he doesn't find you as a suitable mate for such an important 'gift to the world of science' than you don't even have a chance of him wanting to date you.

**_Seventh_**-He doesn't understand sarcasm. Or other social cues. So it is better to just be blunt and not waste time for him to finally get your roundabout meanings.

_**Eighth**_-NEVER sit in his spot. In the winter that seat is close enough to the radiator to stay warm. But yet not so close that it makes him too hot and perspires. In the summer, it's directly in the path of a cross-breeze created by opening windows. It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct or indirect, so he can still talk to everyone if he wants, but still not enough of an angle that the picture looks distort...

**_Ninth_**-He will make you crazy. There isn't any way of getting around it so just give in and settle for the crazy ride of dating Sheldon Cooper.

**_Tenth_**-Now if ALL those bits of information didn't make you run screaming for the hills then I admire there is a few more thing you need to know...

**_Eleventh_**-I am an over-worked and under-paid waitress/aspiring actress.

**_Twelve_**- I'm from Nebraska and I was in the junior rodeo, aka I can hurt if you want. So don't make me want to.

**_Thirteenth_**-_Sheldon Cooper is my boyfriend._

**_Fourteenth_**- Lastly, any flirting, unnecessary touching, or otherwise behavior I don't like you doing with him will make me want to hurt you.

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**A/N: I hope this wasn't too OOC. Like I said before I'm still fairly new to the series. Like? Love? Hate? Please review and tell me what you think.**


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